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Ruku leaves today U.A.E. now and forever - Nilakantan

Dec. 3rd, 2013

01:24 pm - Ruku leaves today U.A.E. now and forever

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Ruku goes away today. Her face has hardened. She’s changed inside. I don’t know what she thinks of me anymore. There’s a fondness I am sure. She feels that I have betrayed her. And she’s right to think that way. I remember that call in the night and I stared out at my porch. I made my apologies easily because they have always been easy to make. Is there anyone I cannot forgive? I can’t hold on to hate, simply because it’s something that needs to be fed. I don’t think I will take the effort to think about someone that way for too long.

When did it become bearable for me not to wait for her call. When knowing that she’s out there somewhere is better than talking to her or being with her. I wish she were Val or Thara. Wish she would talk and not hide things. What happened that night. She won't tell me.